


Death of a Bachelor

by AngelsGuts



Category: markiplier - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Gen, I love Death Note, Let Me Rant About Death Note, There's Death Note in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 18:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19773889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelsGuts/pseuds/AngelsGuts
Summary: Do y'all notice I name like all of my work after songs I'm gigglinAnyway I wanted to rant about Death Note and nobody would listen to me so I worked with what I had





	Death of a Bachelor

“Senpai, I don’t think you’re listening to me,” Yan pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. The sickly sweet girl laid upside down on the couch of Dark’s office, legs poking over the back of the black leather with her bright red hair splayed around her head, starkly contrasting against the deep blue carpet. Her legs bounced a bit as she continued to speak, the excitement and energy she gained from the mere thought of the subject needing to be released through more than words alone. “I don’t think you understand exactly how important this is to me.” Her pink eyes looked over to Dark, neck craned awkwardly so that she could see him behind his desk. Rosy hues glinted with excitement, catching the dull light from the room and somehow multiplying it within herself so that it would glow back from her heart-shaped pupils at double intensity.

Dark sighed, setting his pen down and putting his head in his hands. Tired hands trailed down a tired face, a tired sigh escaping the tired lips of a tired man. “No, Yan, I don’t believe I do. I’m perplexed as to how such a trivial thing as a cartoon could make you feel as passionate as it does. You should focus your energy elsewh-”

The whizzing of a shoe past Dark’s head interrupted his little speech. “Don’t you  _ ever _ tell me L Lawliet isn’t important. He isn’t  _ trivial,  _ he’s a  _ masterpiece  _ of a character! And Light is his perfect contrast! They’re so similar, but on the surface? Nobody would guess! And what’s better? Everyone thinks that because Light is doing something outwardly wrong - aka  _ murdering people _ \- he’s bad! Therefore L, the one trying to stop him, is automatically a good person doing the right thing! But here’s the thing, Senpai! That isn’t true! He’s doing the good thing in a bad way!”

“Is that so…” Dark said around his hands, deciding to just give up. Surely he could beat Yan in a fight if he truly needed to, but he didn’t much enjoy the idea of ruining his suit over something as silly as a man with a single letter for a name. Why Yan seemed so infatuated with this supposed bad guy was completely lost to him. Perhaps she had a thing for bad guys, bad people. Perhaps it made her feel better about herself. However, Dark also knew very well that she liked  _ all  _ people, and that she never seemed to have any qualms with who she was and how she acted. Perhaps Yan was the same as L - doing good things in a bad way; bad execution of good intentions. Maybe  _ that  _ drew her to him.

“Yes! See, he goes after Light! Of course he does! But it isn’t because he’s a good guy - far from it! He just wants to be challenged, yanno? He’s a huge genius that gets his intellectual stimulation from detective work. Puzzles that don’t have all the pieces at the ready for you! And what better puzzle than Kira? The criminal that somehow kills thousands of people around the world in seconds!? How appealing would that be for the greatest mind in the whole world!? He didn’t take the case because he was sad people were dying! He didn’t take the job out of the goodness of his heart! He wasn’t sympathetic to those families that lost people - he just wanted to take on the biggest challenge of his life!”

None of this made any sense - Well, it did a little bit, but the context was pretty lacking. Sure, there was the obvious L against Kira - or was that L against Light? Were they the same person? Were they working together? Dark didn’t have a single clue. This whole thing sounded like it dealt with a good deal of magic as well, which wasn’t exactly something that Dark had considered Yan to be the type to be into. She was usually much more into horror, especially that of the psychological sort. Perhaps this…  _ Ahneymay _ , or whatever she had called it, held some sort of psychology that intrigued her. After all, she  _ was  _ psychoanalyzing this L character. Then again… She psychoanalyzed everything. One time, she psychoanalyzed his favorite color, and it was… A little too much for him to handle. He was sure to move on from that subject very quickly- Oh. She was still talking.

“L Lawliet is  _ so  _ interesting, but everybody reduces him down to these shitty ideals - half of which aren’t even  _ remotely  _ true. People try to make him more appealing by conveniently forgetting that he tortured Misa for an unknown amount of time simply because he knew she had information. Not to mention that that was illegal, but he did it anyway, because he’s L, the greatest mind in the world, yet he couldn’t even figure out a way to get her to psychologically break rather than using force and torture - which  _ also  _ didn’t work, by the way! They make him so cuteee with his sugar addictionnnn. They make him so sexuwawwy fwustwated! They draw him so cute because being attracted to an absolute frog of a mess is unacceptable! They think L is the hero, but is he? Not really! He may have been going after the bad guy, the criminal, but he himself has admitted to being very criminal as well! In his words :” Yan cleared her throat, hand pointing upwards as though that would help her accurately remember the quote. “ _ “It’s not a sense of justice. Figuring out difficult cases is my hobby. If you measured my good and evil deeds by current laws, I would be responsible for many crimes. The same way you all like to solve mysteries and riddles, or clear video games more quickly, for me, too, it’s simply prolonging something I enjoy doing. That’s why I only take cases that pique my interest. It’s not justice at all. And if it means being able to clear a case, I don’t play fair. I’m a dishonest, cheating human being that hates losing.”  _ Yanno? Like that’s straight from his mouth! That’s something he  _ said _ and people are still like “oh but he’s such a good person because he’s a detective saving lives!” and like! No! You can be a bad person and do good things. Like I said, good things for bad reasons or whatever!”

So she could remember lines and lines of text from her favorite character, but not her own words that she said minutes ago? Yan was truly an enigma.

“I see,” Dark said plainly, head leaning on his hand as he began to return to his paperwork. At this point, it was best to just let her ramble. With the right amount of response, he was sure he could avoid another shoe sailing past him at frightening speeds.

“I wonder how L would feel about people thinking this of him? I mean, surely people in his world thought he was all amazing? I know Mr. Yagami did - that’s Light’s Dad. His name is Soichiro but I like calling him Mr. Yagami better. Anyway, people thought he was just this awesome person! But surely it made him feel a little weird? Do you think he felt guilty? Do you think he liked it?”

When she got no response, she looked back at Dark. “Senpai?”

“Hm? Oh, yes.”

“Yeah? I dunno, I’d like to think it made him a little uncomfortable! I mean, it wasn’t like he had a lot of experience with talking to people, interacting with them and stuff. Maybe part of that is because he felt guilty. Like if someone truly knew him, they’d be disgusted instead of enamored. Maybe he was afraid of the possibility of change, or disagreement. I mean, I think the disagreement was a big one, but if he grew to like someone, then I think their disapproval of him would be pretty bad for him, and instead of learning from it, he’d cut them out of his life, because he wouldn’t know what to do about it. Watari never told him he was wrong, so why should anyone else? But what if he  _ did  _ like it? What if he justified it to himself, because everyone else only saw the good and not the bad? Maybe he liked it that way, to save from drama, so he could just live his life. Maybe he didn’t care, as long as he could continue doing what he liked! That sounds pretty reasonable. If the public liked him, then they’d continue to give him cases. If that were the case, then he wouldn’t care that nobody knew the truth. And even if they did, it didn’t seem to upset Mr. Yagami or any of the other police officers when he told them that he was actually Pretty Evil. At that point, L is basically God of the detective world. Even if he does things in a way that seems unjust or cruel, the others will follow because he’s the greatest in the world! They don’t question him at all, just because he’s never gotten a case wrong! And like, I get that, but isn’t that crazy? That the moment you have that sort of status is the moment people start obeying you without question?”

This caught Dark’s attention. She was very right, of course. Once you get to be a certain way - have a certain amount of money, education, status… Whatever it may be. People begin to listen to you, and not ask questions. Humans were programmed to follow authority, not question it. He himself was a perfect example of that. If he had asked Yan to do anything from buy his groceries to murder anyone of his choosing, she would, with no questions other than perhaps “what would you like?” or “how would you like them returned to you? In pieces or in tact?” Most everyone in the HQ was like that, really… Perhaps this L character reminded her of him.

“It’s just crazy. And a lot of times, people will just… Completely rewrite him so they can justify liking him, or justify him being a Good Guy, Actually. People don’t want to support bad people, I guess, but I don’t mind it much. I mean, I love L with my entire heart! I love him even though he’s a bad person! Because I think he’s…! I dunno, appealing!”

Yan flipped over onto her stomach, resting her head on her hands and humming a bit as she kicked her legs. She allowed herself to dip into some thoughts about L, and then quickly flipped herself around so that she was sitting up on the couch.

“Thank you for listening to me rant, Senpai! It means a lot! I know you don’t have any context but… Maybe… One day, when you’re not busy… We could watch an episode or two together…?” She blushed faintly, giggling shyly as her right arm moved to rub against her left.

“Hmm, perhaps,” Dark replied, “I will let you know if I’m not busy.” It wasn’t really that he  _ wanted  _ to watch this silly cartoon with her, but he figured if he could do this for her, even just one episode, she would be much more apt to be somehow even  _ more  _ obedient to him. If he played his cards right, she could have the unwavering loyalty of a dog to its owner. Perhaps she already did.

“Thank you, Senpai,” she said quieter this time, now becoming shy. “C-can I get you anything…? A coffee, maybe? A-as a thank you?”

“A coffee’s fine, thank you.”

“Okay-! I’ll bring it right away!”

She left without a second’s hesitation, quickly escaping the embarrassment she felt under the ruse of acquiring a token of appreciation to her beloved  _ Senpai _ . Dark shook his head, a gentle smile on his face as he was finally able to focus on his work.


End file.
